What are you wanting - advice

The 'S' Word Dating Advice

What are you wanting?

It occurred to me the other day when a friend of mine called me up and asked for advice about online dating; she knew I was the one to ask as I have done if off and on over the years. After giving her the advice I thought about it and realised I too was clueless at one point and that many would be clueless, sparking my realisation that I now know a lot about this subject.


With this dating advice blogs, we at The 'S' Word would love to receive questions regarding dating. No matter the question relating we would like to hear from them and post anonymously with our advice attached. It doesn’t have to be online dating because let’s face it; we meet people in so many ways than just online. The advice we are sharing with you is just that if you wish to give it a try then do so; sometimes our opinion won't suit all of you or maybe just parts of the advice will. Take as much or as little of what we have to say on dating and apply it to your personal life if you wish. Don’t forget to read a previous post about online dating from not that long ago. 

So let’s start the first bit of advice with my friend’s question. She asked if it was too soon to start sexual talk with a guy that she had only been speaking to for just three days. I asked her a series of question “what are you looking for on the sites?” her reply was companionship mainly with the bonus of sex. Further questions as to how this friendship would work and her actual reasons for been online continued till I worked out that she wanted. Friendship with a man that she got along with intellectually and could spend time together doing things such as lunch dinners or movies, when she was free from parenthood duties. In a short she would like a friendship with benefits; this is possible and can happen with the right person.

My advice consisted of; change the subject to something else away from sex. If he/she always brings it back then in my experience he/she is interested in just sex with you; I say this because he/she isn’t showing interest in you outside of the sexual or the bedroom. If your friendship or companionship is more than just sex, then this is the first thing that needs to be proven to you by their interest in you outside of the bedroom. The other advice I gave was that talk to the person you're interested in about what they are after and wanting; been upfront was the best option. No need for either party to get their wires crossed about what they want. There isn’t anything bad about been completely upfront and telling them that although yes I want sex, I also need the companionship too. Giving the other person a chance to decide if this too is what they are looking for and if not, at least, no time from either party has been wasted. 

The biggest thing to remember you can get on so well over the phone or online but you won’t ever know the truth of chemistry or attraction if you don’t meet first so meet them as soon as you can.

As I said to my friend knowing what it is you’re wanting, be honest with what you’re wanting and if you both agree then make sure you meet for the attraction/chemistry as well as connecting on an intellectual level. 

A real test to see if they are actually after just sex is to change the subject to something else and depending on how quickly they change it back to sex is your indication. I find the faster they turn it back to sex they are horny and often at that point just wanting sex. If you are ok with the man or the women approaching you in this manner then by all means, go for it. 

The first lesson in dating is to figure out what you want from the person you’re seeking out. Been honest about what you are seeking is also part of the first lesson.

Wishing you a dating success and please don’t forget to send in your opinions and questions we would love to have feedback.