The End Of A Relationship

The end of a relationship can be a hard topic for many of us, but it is also necessary one to talk about, sometimes you just have to let go and if it needs to be done it's better to be fast. Make this the moment that you find your strength.

We have all had those co-dependent relationships where both parties are obtaining some gain from the time spent together, but inevitably one party will always end up being hurt.

It feels good you think you are on the road to somewhere, you think you have found someone who has a common interest, someone you can connect to, someone who you can trust and can confide in. But in the end, you get that dreaded feeling that there will be an end.

I don’t think anyone wakes up thinking, today I will hurt and emotionally cripple someone who cares about me, they are just too involved in their reality to realise what they are doing.

It’s a constant tug of war because there is something about you that makes them feel good, something about how it makes them feel about themselves when they are with you. Something about their life that they like when you're in it, something about a moment in time that is better just from you being part of it. But you're just not the one, You are not the person that has everything. Your, not the person that they would take risks for, move mountains for, desire to have in their arms for eternity. And if you're not that one, that is not for you to argue. Maybe you want them to be the one for the wrong reasons; maybe the other person sees what deep down you already know,  You're just not meant to be together in a relationship.

We all have needs, sexual, intellectual, emotional, we open ourselves up to people because one, some or all of those necessities need to be met, and they, for the most part, are filling those needs. We are giving a piece of ourselves to another trusting that they have our best interest as well as they're own at heart.

In some cases,  this is misguided trust because; damaged people can damage others. So now comes the hard part, I love you, but I’m letting you go.

I am letting go because you don’t think of me when I'm not in front of you.

I am letting you go because you don’t message or call first

I am letting you go because you don’t make time for me

I am letting you go because I am a secret in your life

I am letting go because you can't let go of your past

I am letting go because I won't be what you settle for

I am letting you go because you should be with someone else

I am letting you go because we just won't work

I am letting you go because we have no trust

I am letting you go because you are not my happiness

I am letting you go because you hurt me

I am letting you go because I don’t connect to you

I am letting you go because, I deserve better than what you are offering

I am letting go because you are my friend, and I want you to stay that way forever

I am letting you go because life is short

I am letting go because even tho your afraid to admit it you need me to, I now need to say, no more! We need to seek what brings us joy; we need not feel as tho our emotions and feelings are a burden but be the reason a person smiles each day and as I am not the source of your smile I am not the owner of your heart. I don’t need to ask you to let me go anymore; I am telling you I am not yours. 

Don't forget to check out the stories and our website over at The 'S' Word.

Sexual Journey

I was sheltered, and I didn’t want to experience or explore further then missionary. Sadly this is true, why sadly? Well for me it’s sad because the world of sex is so diverse and interesting and something I wish I embraced earlier. I am grateful for finding my feet and exploring my sexuality beyond what I had done up to the age of 31. I was thankful I was able to do this with a man that didn’t push me beyond my comfort level, he was always respectful, and he helped create my now open mind toward sex. Things don’t shock me anymore, and I am very open-minded when it comes to the world of sex.

My sexual desire was not high, and it sure wasn’t interesting I became single and found myself opening up more to the people that were around me. My best friend has always been so open to sex, and I found her knowledge to be extremely helpful, she helped me become more comfortable talking about it and not only that but to seek more information about it. With this new confidence, I also hit the dating sites/apps that are so vastly available these days with access to the internet and with our smartphones it’s amazing. I found myself getting more self-esteem and stepping more outside of my shy self which was so revitalizing and refreshing.

I am so glad I stepped out of this shell of mine, and the comfort of just being at home because I tell you this world sure is just amazing. After a few encounters I found my confidence rise, I couldn’t believe the new person that I was developing into, yes most of the old me was still there that soft, sweet, kind, loyal and caring woman. This other side of sexual desire and need to explore beyond the bounds of the missionary has grown and blossomed creating a confident, strong and more independent women than I was before.

Over the years, I have done and experienced many things, things I hold no shame over. Why, you ask? Well, it’s all part of my journey. I want my kids to know about these experiences. No, not yet but as they age I will talk to them openly and honestly about sex and the things they need to know, if they ask me for mine, I will tell them that was my journey, and you will have your own, but I'm happy to give you my opinions. For now they are kids, and they don’t need to know the full truth about their mums opinions. All of this has sure made me realise if my parents were more open about it and talked to me about sex, my journey would have been different, and I wouldn’t have had the “guilty sex disorder” for so long. I am proud to say I have stepped away from this, and I am me, I am a sexual soul that enjoys what the world of sex has to offer. I have my boundaries and levels of what things I am comfortable with. I have no judgment on others own personal levels, and I refrain from using the slut ‘s’ word because truly if I cast that stone on another then someone who isn’t like me someone who has less of a desire to explore the world of sex could cast that stone on me.

It is amazing how we all take different paths in our lives including our sex journey and that some become quite out there, and others are reserved. Be proud of who you are and always be true to who you are when it comes to your sexual path. I am not an expert on sex, but I am an expert on myself. I am proud to say I have embraced my sexuality and my sexual desires I do choose who I share them with, and I chose how much I chose to share with my friends and family. I hold my head high and I am proud to say I LOVE sex, and my sexual journey has been a wonderful ride of learning and exploring.