Oh No Pictures!

Oh No, They Didn't Just? Oh, they did just send me a picture of their penis, I was not expecting to see that.

I know I am not the only one that gets those "oh no you didn’t" pictures sent to them. I could have made a book with all the oh no pictures I have received over the years. I have single friends who have also received these pictures and well we all react to them in the same way. WHY? We don’t understand why men send these types of pictures to us. What are they hoping to achieve by sending them?

As we said in our very first blog “hi, ohh wow and there’s your sword/shaft. I don’t even know your name, but I know if you’re circumcised or not”. I know it isn’t just us females that get these oh no pictures either. My male friends have told me when they have been on the dating sites they often know the bra size or what the vagina looks like, and sometimes they know both. I am all for the upfront honesty approach, and as you all know I am also very open to sex and all its glory. I find receiving these sorts of pictures off putting and so does my male and female friends.

The instant we receive these kinds of pictures we already know what type of people they are. These people are usually self-indulgent and are really after the one thing. They have very high self-confidence as well. Having self-confidence and been self-indulgent are not bad things and knowing what you want as well isn’t either, but approaching another person on a site with a very personal picture that, they haven’t had a choice in seeing isn’t a well thought out plan. The very first impression of you is that you are self-indulgent. In my experience, this usually means they are selfish people, not just in their daily life but also in the bedroom. Who wants a selfish person in bed? I have had my experience in this and trust me I will never be with someone that appears to be selfish outside of the bedroom.

I have no doubts that the oh no pictures approach works for many of you, this is great when you have approached the same kind of person, with the same kind of thinking. What about those who don’t wish to see the package under the clothes till they have met you and decided that is the direction they want to take things.

This approach to me is all wrong. If you are all about sex that is great but leading with your oh no picture may ruin all chances of even getting some sex. I am a person of casual sex and often find my sexual partners online, but! I would never have a casual sex partner that opens a conversation with an oh no picture. Why? You ask, well it is simple they are too self-absorbed for me. I want to be pleased as much as I want to please them, a self-indulgent person is more about themselves than another, and this will carry on into the bedroom. They also assume things about me by approaching me in this manner, if anyone assumes things about me they automatically get my dismissal. The other reason is that they have no self-value, let alone value in the person they wish to bed. Who wants to get down and dirty with someone that has no values in that aspect of their life? I sure don’t; I have no idea where they have been let alone what diseases they may carry. They need to find like-minded people, I am certain they are not hard to find.

I have even found men taken back by women who take this approach, and these men to share my view. It is not a good thing if they are throwing themselves at you, even before a hello. Decent men and dignified women whether they are or not highly sexual people don’t take well to this approach. I recommend starting a conversation and finding out why the other person is on the site in the first place, before letting bits out in public. I don’t mean waste your time by chit chatting for hours; I just mean say “hi! Look I am sorry this is blunt, but I don’t wish to waste our time if you are not like minded as myself. I want to exchange pictures of the nudity kind, and even take to having sex with you.”  Ok, so this approach is harsh to those who are prudish and who are quite shy in that aspect or even not into casual sex, but let's face it you haven’t shared your parts with them where possibly their children or other persons could see. You get a straight out no, respect it and move on.

Remember, those pictures can be kept and put anywhere for public viewing. The internet is a powerful place these days. Let me tell you I made a point often to prove this; I would resend their own pictures back to them and then thanking them for a copy to add to my ever growing book. I won’t be posting them in the media, but I did feel they should see that it is possible. Some have loved the idea, and some just disappear instantly, those that disappear, I don't know if they ever sent them again. Hopefully, they got the picture I was trying to point out.

Hey! If you like taking those pictures and having them viewed by many why don’t you try to find a website that happily accepts and posts those pictures, or approach porn sites, magazines, etc. You can then post it and those wishing to see these sorts of pictures can, this will make it their choice not completely yours.

Take pride in yourself and if you want to find a decent person to be with, no matter what kind of way that is. Partners, sexual partners should match your values to make things work, so if you have a high self-worth and don’t send the oh no pictures to another, you will find a much more respectful and matching relationship in that person. I enjoy getting to know a person just enough before I have sexual contact with them because I find the sex is much better.

Who has received a picture that you thought oh my gosh did they? Did they put that out there? It's odd, it's wrong, are they proud of this? I am sure men view vagina’s that way along with breasts. Now I am not saying that all these things are bad just not always to one person's taste. As the saying goes ‘one person's trash, is another's treasure’ and I am sure this is the case for many when it comes to our personal parts. As I tell my children our private parts are our own to look, touch and feel. As they grow, I will be teaching them that it is ok to share when both are of legal age, and both a willing, with no pressure and complete respect for each other has being given.

How many times have I sat in public or next to my children to open a message up and see a sword/shaft picture? Opening up those pictures in public has happened way too many times, and as a mother is it my worst nightmare, I don’t want my kids to see this as I don’t wish them to think it is ok to do it. I also do not want other people and or their children to see this sort of thing on my phone. It causes embarrassments and awkward moments I rather avoid.

Love yourself and remember to ask the other party to receive these oh no you didn’t picture before sending to avoid embarrassments, keep respect and most importantly hopefully avoid been out on the internet. 

Second coffee in a hotel

They had already met and had a wild time after a coffee in the hotel lobby. It was time to set off the sexual tension with their second coffee. Not only did they catch up on their lives they talked about the last time they had coffee sending them into a sexual frenzy. 

New experiences were made along with exciting new feelings. Orgasms were gratifying. Research had to be done after the encounter.

The new half of the story is sure to excite you. Sit down with a coffee and enjoy the ride of this lady with her hot sexy lover. The story touches on a subject that will create some mixed thoughts and feelings. We would love to hear what your thoughts are. You are welcome to contact us and we can post for you or be brave and get interactive. 

Enjoy the read! We wish you an arousing experience. Head over to The 'S' Word.

To join our latest story is the launch of our store. Head over to www.the-s-word-shop.com for all your shopping needs. We are so very excited to announce our shop and look forward to you visiting us there.

The 'S' Word Team.

What are you wanting - advice

The 'S' Word Dating Advice

What are you wanting?

It occurred to me the other day when a friend of mine called me up and asked for advice about online dating; she knew I was the one to ask as I have done if off and on over the years. After giving her the advice I thought about it and realised I too was clueless at one point and that many would be clueless, sparking my realisation that I now know a lot about this subject.


With this dating advice blogs, we at The 'S' Word would love to receive questions regarding dating. No matter the question relating we would like to hear from them and post anonymously with our advice attached. It doesn’t have to be online dating because let’s face it; we meet people in so many ways than just online. The advice we are sharing with you is just that if you wish to give it a try then do so; sometimes our opinion won't suit all of you or maybe just parts of the advice will. Take as much or as little of what we have to say on dating and apply it to your personal life if you wish. Don’t forget to read a previous post about online dating from not that long ago. 

So let’s start the first bit of advice with my friend’s question. She asked if it was too soon to start sexual talk with a guy that she had only been speaking to for just three days. I asked her a series of question “what are you looking for on the sites?” her reply was companionship mainly with the bonus of sex. Further questions as to how this friendship would work and her actual reasons for been online continued till I worked out that she wanted. Friendship with a man that she got along with intellectually and could spend time together doing things such as lunch dinners or movies, when she was free from parenthood duties. In a short she would like a friendship with benefits; this is possible and can happen with the right person.

My advice consisted of; change the subject to something else away from sex. If he/she always brings it back then in my experience he/she is interested in just sex with you; I say this because he/she isn’t showing interest in you outside of the sexual or the bedroom. If your friendship or companionship is more than just sex, then this is the first thing that needs to be proven to you by their interest in you outside of the bedroom. The other advice I gave was that talk to the person you're interested in about what they are after and wanting; been upfront was the best option. No need for either party to get their wires crossed about what they want. There isn’t anything bad about been completely upfront and telling them that although yes I want sex, I also need the companionship too. Giving the other person a chance to decide if this too is what they are looking for and if not, at least, no time from either party has been wasted. 

The biggest thing to remember you can get on so well over the phone or online but you won’t ever know the truth of chemistry or attraction if you don’t meet first so meet them as soon as you can.

As I said to my friend knowing what it is you’re wanting, be honest with what you’re wanting and if you both agree then make sure you meet for the attraction/chemistry as well as connecting on an intellectual level. 

A real test to see if they are actually after just sex is to change the subject to something else and depending on how quickly they change it back to sex is your indication. I find the faster they turn it back to sex they are horny and often at that point just wanting sex. If you are ok with the man or the women approaching you in this manner then by all means, go for it. 

The first lesson in dating is to figure out what you want from the person you’re seeking out. Been honest about what you are seeking is also part of the first lesson.

Wishing you a dating success and please don’t forget to send in your opinions and questions we would love to have feedback.

Happy Valentines Day!

It's valentine’s day and I’m sitting at home in front of my computer thinking how vomiting this day can be, not only vomiting but lonely for some and sad too. Why is it this day brings us to the conclusion of feeling either loved or alone? I have married friends feeling lonely today more so today than they do any other day of the year with a few exclusions.

I wonder why it is that today is a lonely feeling day when it’s a day about love. First thing this morning I too was feeling alone, then I gave a good friend some advice. This made me go hang on, we are not alone, we are not lonely. All we need is love, let's face it we all have it in some way, you just need to see that.

Upon receiving a happy valentines day message from a male friend and returning the gesture. We chat as we usually do, I n a joking way he said he wishes I saw him other than a brother. I replied to this good friend of mine with some advice that made me stop and think about how I was already feeling on this day and that this friend was feeling the same even though he was married. How can we be alone I thought after saying this to my friend “love is love and we are lucky to have each other’s love”. My friends reply was “true” and I am so glad you're my friend. I felt love right there at that moment I no longer was alone, this love wasn’t a romantic one but it was love and I felt it.

Romantic love is overrated and isn’t always the love we need. I am lucky to have admirers from afar and admirers near they may see me as a friend, or see me as more but they are there and I should feel lucky to be surrounded by love.

I am single this valentine’s day, I didn’t get gifts, flowers, chocolates or even breakfast in bed but I did get a couple of messages from friends; male and female wishing me a happy day. I felt loved today, I felt special and I got to feel cared for, isn’t that is what Valentine ’s Day should be about?

The first time as a single person I haven’t hated on today. I haven’t spent the day angry or wishing I didn’t see people in love, I spent it feeling loved instead of unloved. I usually feel lonely on this day because I haven’t got that special someone. This year I did realise I have more than a special someone I just have it in many people instead.

So for all the single ladies and gentlemen take today as a day of appreciating all kinds of love. Show all those you love that they are loved. Take a look all around you and see you are also loved to. Love is found in many places and accepting all kinds into your heart is a wonderful way to live life and see today is about all these types of love.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

Online Dating

Girls say, boys say!!!

So the world has shrunk and so has the access to a sexual or romantic partner. Well, it has for some of us at least, when it comes to online dating men say the same things continuously. "Women are skanks, women won't talk to me, or women think they are too good for me, women are crazy." From the woman’s perspective they say, "too many men message me, and I can’t keep up, there is no way I have the time to reply to all of them, I would need to hire help”, men either want nothing but sex or are too full on to quick, men are crazy."

Love is one of the basic needs of humanity and has become harder to find due to many choices and not enough loyalty.The desire for love is strong but the reality of it scares many people and when the opportunity arises to have something meaningful and lasting many people scamper. I often find myself attracted to emotionally unavailable people; this creates an invisible veil of protection from actually having to commit to a relationship.

Why has the modern age of connection left us so disconnected? Many people do not understand the hurt and pain that they can potentially inflict on others, often feeling as though they feel as if they are just another username tapping away on a keyboard. A connection is hard to find and when its one sided, and feelings are not expressed clearly by both parties involved confusion and hurt will be the result. Transparency and honesty are the best forms of communication.

Girls if you are getting inundated with messages from men on dating apps make a note and an apology on your profile as to why you might not reply and men if you are not replied to do not take it as a person judgement on your looks or personality.

Most people are all looking for someone that sparks interest and stirs excitement; dating should be exciting and fun. Look for spark, aim for love and remember you are communicating with people, people with needs and emotions. Be honest, be straight up about your thoughts, needs and feelings, but don’t be pushy or overbearing.

Both parties should be showing respect and being open about their intentions. If a person’s intentions do not match yours do not judge them for it simply move on to someone who’s morals and needs are a closer match to yours. It is likely that if you feel someone is not interested in you, they are most likely not. Give them space and time. If there is interest they will make it known, if not they will disappear and you will not have put in time and effort that was wasted on a train headed nowhere.  

Girls and guys be kind, be respectful and treat others how you would expect to be treated yourself.

Remember online or face to face people have feelings, and you have the potential to leave an everlasting scar.

Is Great Sex Worth It?

It’s the beginning of the New Year and it’s often the time when we all reflect on the year that has just passed. We look at our health, money, relationships and our working life, as we do we question the good and the bad parts and often what has made us happy and what has made us sad or feeling down. I did this after my New Year Eve, I reflected on all the things in my life and how it has all made me feel.

Reflecting on my sex life and relationships from the past year has been hard. Last year provided many ups and downs along with many lessons in my personal life. Reflecting on what makes me happy or sad in this part of my life has made me think about my experiences and how they affected me and what things I need to change to create a happier and well-rounded future. Having had a few experiences in relationships and different sexual partners, I discovered that many things need to change. I do not regret my past year because I took much away and learnt a lot, what I learnt is trust, respect, been true to yourself and having self-importance to be held close and of great importance to create healthy relationships.

Early into last year, I ended a relationship that lasted quite a few months, I gave this relationship a lot of time and effort to try and make it work with this man. Who was a good guy and I felt all his love and knew he truly loved me. The reason it didn’t work is due to the lack of trust. I learnt how important trust is to me and to help create a healthy and happy relationship. I still talk to this man and know he will always be there for me if I was ever to need him. I learnt what been loved felt like and I will ever be grateful to him for that. All relationships need trust to be successful, without this, it's hard to move forward and allow each other or others be their full and real self.

After this relationship had ended surprisingly to me I didn’t need sex and I didn’t require male company for a few months, I was happy just to be on my own. After a while, I craved sex again and started to seek this in the form of friends with benefits (FWB) after a short search on some dating/pickup sites I felt I managed to find one. While I was in the FWB thing, I continued to put myself out there. I started to get to know a man who seemed put together lovely and quite interested in me. I, the fearful of relationships girl didn’t take myself off the market and meet a man that seemed just to speak to my soul. Hurting the well put together man to start a serious relationship with this new man wasn’t the funniest of experiences I have been through.

A new man and a new relationship all seemed to be going well until, I found myself not having my needs in the bedroom meet. This made it difficult and this strained the very new relationship, we started to fight and I still to this day do not understand how a man isn’t interested in sex at all unless they had been drinking, especially having sex with me. I will never know the full truth of what was going on for him and I have become ok with this. He had spoken to my soul but he didn't talk my language. I learnt that even though it feels right in some ways, it may not always be the right thing for us. We ended it and I became single again.

Heading back to previous men that I have been interment with wasn’t all that hard I was craving sex and I knew who I could get it from. I fond myself often calling these men my friends I think we have a more understanding of having needs and we can fulfil them for each other complication free.

I was out on the town with one of my best friends when I ran into the guy before the last who didn’t cope well with the rejection. I ended up speaking to him that night, we agreed to coffee and a chat about what had happened and where we were at and apology for past hurt feelings and things been said. We decided FWB is something we both was looking for. I made it clear that I was not ready for a relationship and we both created some rules to protect ourselves from been hurt.

The sex was incredible and fulfilling, I couldn’t get enough and he seemed to be the same. Squirting and orgasming like I had not in such a long time we connected well in the sex department. I was craving more of the sex because it just satisfied me but seemed to only last short periods of time. I craved more and more and wanted more and more. Sex was fantastic and I just couldn’t get enough I seemed to be orgasming stronger than I had for a while and it all felt great.

On the flip side to all this the emotional part became difficult. Came to the point where our worlds were merging and I was feeling like I couldn’t take breath’s and that a relationship was intimate. This all freaks me out, especially when I am not wanting one. I found this man saying and doing things to get an emotional reaction out of me and twisting things.

My friends found similar traits in this guy as they have done from their own experiences with men who have manipulated them. They were shocked because I am strong and independent women never asking and rarely accepting help from others. I stand up for myself and for what I believe in. So when my friends saw me allowing this man to treat me the way he was, they were shocked. I am a women who take care of herself, kids, friends and family and always stands up for those close and important to her. I am too tough to ask for aid and way too stubborn to admit I need help. So for them to see me allowing a man to manipulate and control me the way he had been was worrying for them to see. Now before I set men off in the wrong direction, please know I am very well aware women are capable and have done this to men as well. I have seen this happen to men in my life too.

My friends became worried but never really said too much as they support me in anything that makes me happy. This is something admittedly I need to work on in support of my friends choices. Standing up for me in moments when this man spoke to me in a passive aggressive manner and I wasn’t as aware of it happening was the start of myself noticing the goings on.

A day started like any other with the usual get breakfast and planning out the day. We made plans and well the day didn’t run to plan and this doesn’t sit well with a controlling person and one that needs things to be as intended all the time. I am a person who loves to plan and be organised and its taken a while and a new best friend to teach me that going with the flow isn’t a bad thing. Adapting and adjusting is a good trait to have.

The beginning of the flip out began with the passive aggressive behaviour. Moving forward and changing plans a couple of times didn’t help a person that likes to be in control.  The drinking before heading out for dinner and celebrations began. This man had far too much to drink and further bad behaviour and treatment started. This happened in front of more of my friends and later in front of his own friends too. Dinner wasn’t the most enjoyable time, with inappropriate behaviour and words.

Then the last straw happened when entry refusal to a club happened and another altercation and emotional abuse happened. I am glad I had my friends close by because this experience made me realise how I was treated. The end of the FWB began.

Is great sex worth it? I stayed in a long relationship not just because I cared but because the sex was incredible. I then stay in this semi-abusive FWB situation for the same reason. Was it and is it really worth this emotional anguish and pain? In short no it’s not worth it at all, we as a person deserve much better even from just a sex partner. If we don’t feel happy, safe, respected and have the ability to be who we are, it isn’t worth it. Losing ourselves for sex is not who we should be and it sure isn’t who I want to be I am worth far more than that.

Realising our own worth and that it is better then been emotional abused, controlled or any other form of abuse, just for sex. Sex is an amazing thing that is something we should enjoy and love but not at the cost of our self-worth.

Reflecting back on my past year of all the emotional ups and downs I learnt that my friends are there for me no matter what and they want the best for me. I am worth way more than I have been giving myself credit for. Sex isn’t worth giving up all that I believe in, I love, crave and need sex but I sure am going to make sure this year I remain true to myself and not focus on sex as much. Given I am a sex addict and I love sex this may be proven difficult, sex toy investments and some emotional soul searching with other lifestyle changes I think I can do this.

Always remember your self-worth and always stay true to you. Sex is a part of who we are but not something that should consume us or make us become someone that’s not who we are.  Reflection is a good thing and learning my own value and to see signs of any kind relationship that isn’t good for me. 

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The End Of A Relationship

The end of a relationship can be a hard topic for many of us, but it is also necessary one to talk about, sometimes you just have to let go and if it needs to be done it's better to be fast. Make this the moment that you find your strength.

We have all had those co-dependent relationships where both parties are obtaining some gain from the time spent together, but inevitably one party will always end up being hurt.

It feels good you think you are on the road to somewhere, you think you have found someone who has a common interest, someone you can connect to, someone who you can trust and can confide in. But in the end, you get that dreaded feeling that there will be an end.

I don’t think anyone wakes up thinking, today I will hurt and emotionally cripple someone who cares about me, they are just too involved in their reality to realise what they are doing.

It’s a constant tug of war because there is something about you that makes them feel good, something about how it makes them feel about themselves when they are with you. Something about their life that they like when you're in it, something about a moment in time that is better just from you being part of it. But you're just not the one, You are not the person that has everything. Your, not the person that they would take risks for, move mountains for, desire to have in their arms for eternity. And if you're not that one, that is not for you to argue. Maybe you want them to be the one for the wrong reasons; maybe the other person sees what deep down you already know,  You're just not meant to be together in a relationship.

We all have needs, sexual, intellectual, emotional, we open ourselves up to people because one, some or all of those necessities need to be met, and they, for the most part, are filling those needs. We are giving a piece of ourselves to another trusting that they have our best interest as well as they're own at heart.

In some cases,  this is misguided trust because; damaged people can damage others. So now comes the hard part, I love you, but I’m letting you go.

I am letting go because you don’t think of me when I'm not in front of you.

I am letting you go because you don’t message or call first

I am letting you go because you don’t make time for me

I am letting you go because I am a secret in your life

I am letting go because you can't let go of your past

I am letting go because I won't be what you settle for

I am letting you go because you should be with someone else

I am letting you go because we just won't work

I am letting you go because we have no trust

I am letting you go because you are not my happiness

I am letting you go because you hurt me

I am letting you go because I don’t connect to you

I am letting you go because, I deserve better than what you are offering

I am letting go because you are my friend, and I want you to stay that way forever

I am letting you go because life is short

I am letting go because even tho your afraid to admit it you need me to, I now need to say, no more! We need to seek what brings us joy; we need not feel as tho our emotions and feelings are a burden but be the reason a person smiles each day and as I am not the source of your smile I am not the owner of your heart. I don’t need to ask you to let me go anymore; I am telling you I am not yours. 

Don't forget to check out the stories and our website over at The 'S' Word.